I do not think it means what you think it means...

Hello Gentlereaders,

I'm struggling a bit with allergies, but am going to suck it up and deal with it. One of the dearest people in the world asked me what I thought the allergy trigger might be, and I said abstinence.

Hello ladies.

Actually I got to talking to this same wonderful person, and we started on the subject of Doctor Who. Because really, any conversation with me is inevitably about Who, The Muppets or my books.

On sale, right now over at Amazon!

But, I happened to mention to this person in question that the character of Bernie, the sexy, flirty, awesome M.D. from the book series was based in part on the Martha Jones character, played by Freema Agyeman. 

However, this wonderful and kind friend pointed out that she, alright it's a girl I was talking to. That's right peeps, I'm TALKING TO GIRLS! But, she said that Bernie always struck her as a more mature, sassy character. Like Dr. Cox's wife from Scrubs.

So, I guess what I'm saying is, even though an author might have a picture in their mind of what a character MIGHT look like, chances are, the reader views something completely different.

And speaking of something completely different!

Proudly presents!

My dear and awesome friend TM Smith has a new book out. 

A military brat born and raised at Ft. Benning Georgia; Smith is an avid reader, reviewer and writer. She now calls Texas home from her small town on the outskirts of the DFW Metroplex. Most days you can find her curled up with her kindle and a good book alongside a glass of something aged and red or a steaming cup of coffee!

At 42 years young, she’s decided to enter the next phase of her life by adding the title of “author” to her list of accomplishments that includes single mom of three disturbingly outspoken and decidedly different kids, one of which is Autistic. Her two eldest kids and gay best friend were the inspiration for her upcoming new release, Opposites.

Available online now!

Enter to win fabulous prizes!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

SuperDad

Hello Gentle Readers,

Can I be honest here? Superman is awesome!

Any excuse to have "Believe it or not I'm walking on air" stuck in your head.

I finally broke down and saw Man of Steel. You know, that new flick, where a beefed up British dude saves the world from hammy madmen.

Photo unrelated. 

And here's the thing, I LOVED IT! Seriously, it was wonderful. It had bearded Superman, bearded Jor-El, a joke at the end where I began to believe a General was using a hot female officer as a beard. It even had Kevin Costner building a baseball diamond in a cornfield so he could play catch with his dead Dad. Alright, that may not be entirely true. Superman did shave his beard. 

And not ONCE does he do this! COME ON!

I especially liked the Daily Planet bits. Well, except for the part where I kept wondering why Laurence Fishburne had an earring. I just wanted to stop and go "Morpheus, the 90s called, they want their bejewelment back." 

 

"Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to....SUIT UP!"

 

 I also get Amy Adams, who plays Lois, confused with Rachel McAdams who was in The Notebook. It doesn't help that in this movie there's a dude who looks like Channing Tatum from The Vow also starring Rachel McAdams. Except, this dude is actually Tahmoh Penikett...Helo from Battlestar. The...you know what, it's the guy that looks like Channing Tatum. 

Seriously. Dude looks just like him.

So Ramy McSmadams is in this flick as Lois, a strong, independent, wonderful woman who actually saves the day. Well, with the help of Stabler from SVU, and I'm loving this movie so much. Then suddenly, I realize, this Superman is awesome. He's flawed, he's overburdened with responsibility, he has a big heart, he'll always try to do the right thing and he gives everything he's got to help others.

Kind of like my Dad. 

Happy Father's Day!

 

Jay Mims can entirely attribute his sense of humor, loud voice, and love of Bill Murray to his Daddy. Jay recently acquired a new kitty called Meowstapheles, who hangs out with Eartha Kitty and a passive-aggressive roommate named Steve. He writes books and is far funnier on Facebook then in real life. He is terrible at Twitter. His next book "The Gray Ghost Inn" is due out October 15, 2013. Feel free to email him here. Don't forget to subscribe to the blog for a semi-regular dose of Mimsey.

Dan Landis' Top Ten Tips for Treating a Lady Right on Mother's Day

He's talked to you about Singles Awareness Day. And gave you some straight talk about dealing with Werewolves. Third time's the charm. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dan Landis.

Sorry ladies, this isn't Dan Landis. No, this is Chris Winters.

Hello Ladies, 

I'm sure you're completely unaware of this, but Mother's Day is coming up. Now, you also may not know, but I actually specialize in cheating spouses. Also, I'm a private investigator. 

Detectives are always sexy.

If there's one thing I can tell you, well me and every other idiot who wants to give a cheap plug to Ashley Madison, it's that cheating goes WAY UP after Mother's Day.

Stay classy Ashley Madison.

And I thought, maybe it's time for Uncle Danny to give some straight advice on how to treat the woman in your life right. Hold tight kids, it's going to be a wild ride. 

Dan Landis' Top Ten Tips for Treating a Lady Right....on Mother's Day

1)  Breakfast in Bed. Alright, this one is a gimme, obviously, but let's take the early morning breakfast out of the equation. Everyone loves a breakfast in bed, but you know what they'd love more? Sleeping in for once. Think about brunch in bed. Maybe late lunch. 

Trust me. French Toast and Fried Chicken can work for any meal.

2) How about Mother's Day just be her day? I'm not saying you should up and neglect the lady, because that's what the other 364 days are for. But, maybe, just maybe, you could let her have some time to herself. Maybe take the kids/pets/plants out and just let her hang around the house. Or go see a movie. Or eat at a restaurant without having to clean up after a messy eater. And the kids. 

What better way to celebrate Mother's Day then by watching a movie about a 

handsome prince who steals away your screaming baby 

and wants nothing but your happiness?

3) Do the Laundry. At the risk of alienating the entire floral industry, I can almost guarantee that freshly clean and folded laundry, all the dishes cleaned, and the house swept and mopped are way sexier then two dozen roses. You want to make your lady feel appreciated? Pick up your own socks. Just, you know, don't wash those socks with anything red. Because fading her favorite pair of hot red hiphuggers, while turning every pair of socks pink, is not going to win you points. You ain't seen crazy until you've shrank a woman's little black dress because you don't know what "Hand Wash Only" means. 

It's all well and good until she takes off those shoes and beats you with them.

4) Buy the flowers. Remember what I said just now, about how cleaning the house was worth more then two dozen roses? Yeah, you still have to get her flowers. They don't have to be roses, and if you live in the right neighborhood, you don't even have to buy them. Just have the kids jerk some flowers out of the ground.

Just, you know, make sure the KIDS do it. 

There's a fine line between lovable scamp 

and jerk who ruined the Dickerson's prized begonias.

5) It's not about you. I know this is going to be hard, but not every day can be about you. Take a moment to appreciate the special lady in your life. They don't have to be a Mom, and in fact I find Mother's Day far more enjoyable when I'm around childless women. Mostly because I don't have to worry about the little tykes busting in when I'm pulling the patented Landis Double-Twist. Because I'm a giver, and it's all about her. 

Somedays you just need to be a sloth in a swing.

6) Find the small thing. Every woman deep down wants to feel loved and appreciated. And one of the best, and easiest, ways to do that, is to find one small thing that means something to her. It can be her favorite movie, her favorite book, a photo, a song. Something. Look, you live with this woman, surely there's something special that will make her say "Aw." 

 

IT'S SO FLUFFY!

7) Take her someplace special. Here's a helpful tip not a lot of people realize. You don't have to do something ON MOTHER'S DAY! In fact, don't even plan on going out to eat. Just pick up some Little Caesar's or something. But, you can PLAN to go somewhere special. Again, remember #6, find something special that means something TO HER. Or just go to Santa Land. Yes, that's a real place. Just like I mentioned in the epic telling of my Christmas adventure.

BUY IT NOW!

8) Suit Up. Remember how when you were single, you looked your absolute best? Remember how that special someone found you attractive because you looked amazing? Today is the day you remind that special someone that you can, in fact, make this look good. 

9) Bring the A-Game. Look, I realize not everyone is blessed with my natural stamina, athleticism and natural charm. However, there's no reason why you can't dust off that Barry White album, open up a bottle, and for one night rock her world. Or at least tilt it to one side. Trust me, a little effort goes a long way. 

I've found that in lieu of Barry White, 

reruns of White Collar can work just as well.

10) Three little words. And let's not forget, there's always three little words that can make every woman's heart go pitter patter. If you can master these words, the world is your oyster. Those words are: Death By Chocolate. 

And speaking of  Adult Romance....Ashlynne Laynne now has three books in the Progeny Series!

Forever. For always. For Eternity. 

Amazon US / Amazon UK / B&N / Smashwords