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Monday, March 14, 2011

Feeding carrots to Big Willy...


I got a job in January teaching, which is nice because prior to that I was broke. I don’t recommend it. But, since I did not live anywhere close to where I was going to teach (about 3 hours give or take an hour and my geographic ignorance),  I had to move in with my grandmother. 

She is a wonderful woman who doesn’t like movies, most books, or any TV programming that isn’t Soaps or the Game Show network. Needless to say it was tough finding something to talk about.
On the bright side, we lasted a month. Then she, being of a pre-internet era, used the phone book, her vast network of fellow postal workers (she is a former Postmaster),  and her considerable skill to land me a place to live. 

A really nice place, about ten minutes from my work. It was unreal how awesomely fast the woman could move when she was ready to get me out of her house. 

And now, having lived here almost a month, I can honestly say “It’s AWESOME!” I have a nice two bedroom apartment, internet, and thanks to my impressive DVD collection and Netflix, absolutely no need to get cable. I also have free long distance, so much to the chagrin of my friends, I don’t need to use my cell phone. 

Apparently my Grandmother and I are the only people who have a house phone. When the nuclear holocaust happens, we’ll see whose laughing. 

Actually, I got to be honest, it probably won’t be me. 

But, yeah there is an added advantage to my cool living situation. His name is Big Willy. He’s a horse.
A Shetland pony to be specific. Now, I will grant you, horses aren’t my forte. In fact, if you can’t plug it in, I’m a bit bewildered. This probably explains most of my romantic endeavors. But, I find horses fairly relaxing animals. They’re low maintenance. 

Well, before you equestrians lay into me about how expensive they are, let me say they are low maintenance to LOOK AT. Big Willy, and the other two horses that have joined him (I call them Not Big Willy #1 and Not Big Willy #2) are just fun to sit and watch. They roam the pasture, eat grass, poop, and sometimes whinny. It’s a bit like having children but without the added inconvenience of childrearing. Also, I only have to buy carrots. 

Big Willy loves carrots. Apparently, according to the owner, Shetland ponies don’t do well with sugary foods, but they’ll eat a carrot. And since I got a grocery store nearby (well ten minutes…seriously I’m in the boonies, we don’t even have a stop light!) I bought Willy and friends some carrots. 

AND here’s the thing. A horse takes FOREVER to eat a carrot. Like one horse will chew for a good 45 seconds. I just want to go “It’s a CARROT! Just chomp five times and you’re good!” Then again, the horse probably has more sense than me. 

I think there’s a lesson in there somewhere.  


  1. You aren't the only one with a house phone! My cell phone gets no reception whatsoever in my house due to the giant hill half an acre away in my back yard. And, I agree, cable is highly overrated. I much prefer Netflix and books!

    As for country living, we have no stoplight, but I have one up on you: the Superette, complete with male deer urine hanging on the wall as soon as you walk in, and stuffed animal heads on the walls. Our favorite one has a plaque under it stating, "Found Dead." No joke!

  2. You may find the tendancies of the horses are similar to those of women...patience and spoiling. Though I recommend chocolate to carrots. I have never been impressed by a guy who brought me a carrot...well, unless it sparkled.

  3. Hurray for country living!

    Ha, so hang on, there's male deer urine on the wall? Or like in a jar?

    And which animal was found dead?

  4. To Elizabeth,

    Tis true about the tendencies of women and horses being similar. Both demonstrate remarkable patience, intelligence, and understanding. As well as the ability to bear incredible burdens. No wonder women and horses get along so well.