IT'S A BOY!

Hello Gentle Readers,

I'm not sure if I told you this story, but Not Big Willie (F) was pregnant when I first moved to Nowhere. I remember distinctly being all excited about the miracle of life, in wonder that I was back living in the countryside, and was going to see a pony. Yeah that was over a year ago.

Horse gestation periods are LONG!!! I'm pretty sure the human race wouldn't exist if women had to carry a kid around for more than nine months. Frankly, I don't know how women do it for nine months. Besides all the free stuff. Right? Pregnant women get free stuff, right? Like t-shirts and complimentary desserts? Or am I getting that confused with birthdays?

In other news, I completed the basic draft of my second Dan Landis adventure, The Cult of Koo-Kway. I actually sent it to my wonderful editor as a Valentine. I'm not joking, either. The email was actually "Happy Valentine's here's a present from me to you!" I'm such a romantic, I know.

I also straight up called my editor, just to see if I could get this poor married soul to answer the phone. I mean, I got voicemailed, but come on, it was Valentine's. Who answers their phone on that day? Especially at night.

Still, would have been far more hilarious if the phone had picked up. I had a quip ready to go. Yes, Gentle Readers, I plan my quips in advance.

It's the blogging that I make up as I go along.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the latest addition to the Big Willy family. There are those who call him....Tim.

Can't forget your first...

Hello Gentle Readers, 

Can I be corny and heartwarming for a second? 

When I was in first grade, I had this teacher who, for whatever reason, absolutely loved me. I loved her. We just clicked. Obviously she loves all her students, and I’ve had other great teachers. But we have this bond, this strange and wonderful bond. She’s Miss Rita and I’m her Joshua. 

In first grade she made me promise to dedicate my first book to her. I hadn’t written anything, mind you, but she thought I might do something with my life, and wanted to hedge her bets. 

Now fast forward about twenty-something years. Miss Rita is retired, I’m working a nine-to-five, and “The Five Santas” just had its first book signing. I invited her out to it, because it was within driving distance, and seriously how could I not. 

Because oh yeah, I totally dedicated the book to her.I really hope she likes it. 

Don’t forget to hug a teacher. 

Now play me out rendition of “The Dark Knight” set to the 1960’s Adam West Batman theme:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8UiJmCN_K4

I'm running as fast as I can...

Hello Gentle Readers,

You ever have one of those times where you feel like you're running, non-stop, fast as you can? AND you don't seem to be going anywhere? That's how I've felt of late. Like a marathon runner trapped on a treadmill.

On the plus side, I have a book. Though, you probably already knew that. But, its now available in print, instead of just ebook.

But again, you probably knew that. Then again, maybe this is your first time reading this blog, with no knowledge of the wacky antics I get up to. Right? Maybe?

"Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that! " The Red Queen, Through the Looking Glass

Enough of that nonsense, let's talk about something fun. It's Friday! It's an honest Friday too, not like last week, when Thursday dressed up early as Friday, and we all pretended to play along. Because honestly, Thursday has a serious middle child complex. Not as cool as Friday, not as funny as Wednesday (Hump Day).

I hear Thursday and Tuesday sometimes hangs out and drinks, just to badmouth Monday.

And hey, John Barrowman has cake: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY7FgKWeV5U