Who better to talk about the magic that is Valentine's Day then everyone's favorite detective, Dan Landis!
Give it up for the one and only!
2) Check your friends list. You know what every guy secretly dreams of doing? Besides seducing Swedish super-model cheerleading twins? Getting out of the Friendzone! If you don’t know what the Friendzone is, look it up. You’ll probably be online looking up E-Harmony or Plenty of Fish or Ashley Madison. Lycos that bad boy.
3) Join a gym. You know what the best part of meeting people at a gym is? They’re all in shape! Or if they’re not in shape, they’re at least trying to be. Just think ladies, it’s a bunch of sexy sweating men who are willing to change. All they need is someone who will see them as a project.
4) Take up a hobby. Take up hiking, glee club, theater group…pretty much anything that has mixed company. The important thing is that you’re learning a new skill while having a common interest with complete strangers. It’s a win-win. Unless you’re a Mime. No one dates a Mime. Unless that Mime is Doug Jones.
5) Hit 'em where they ain't. “Wee Willie” Keeler, the famous baseball player used to say ‘Keep your eye clear, and hit ‘em where they ain’t.’ Now he was talking about knocking the ball where there wasn’t a catcher, but I’m here to tell you, single ladies and gents, you got to go where there isn’t a lot of competition. If you’re a lady, try sports. Sports are awesome. Anyone can enjoy a baseball game. It’s America’s pastime. And trust me, even a minor league team like the Tides will be swimming with men. Guys, you want to find ladies, take up a cooking class. You can meet beautiful, or at least moderately attractive women, and learn how to make Haute Cuisine.
6) Suit up! If there’s one thing that Neil Patrick Harris has taught us, it’s that there’s nothing better than a suit. You want to get attention, you got to dress for attention. Look good, you’ll feel good, and nothing’s a stronger aphrodisiac then confidence. Well, besides Spanish Fly.
7) Dip your toe into the company pool. Nothing beats a little a good old fashioned office romance. Just take my advice, aim for the single people. You’re dating a co-worker, there’s no point in making it more complicated.
8) Nerds need love too! Don’t forget ladies, there are plenty of single nerds and geeks out there. They usually have stable jobs, are passionate about their hobbies, and trust me they have a fanatical attention to detail. Think about that for a minute: You’re going to be in a relationship with someone who will memorize all your cheat codes. Instant win every time.
9) Physician, heal thyself. Don’t forget, the common factor in every bad relationship you’ve had was you. Maybe do a self-evaluation, and work on bettering yourself. You never know when that special someone will come along, when the next person you meet might be your soul mate. Or at least a fun weekend in Vermont.